Present Still

“I’m angry.”  “I’m sad.”  “I’m happy.” We say “I” dozens of times a day. It feels so obvious that we never stop to question it. But the Buddha asked a different question. Is there really an unchanging “self” at all? We usually take both our body and mind to be “me.” But neither stays the same for even a moment. In Buddhism, non-self doesn’t mean “you don’t exist.”  It means there’s no fixed, permanent self to be found.  Strange as that sounds, you can test it yourself: just compare how you felt a moment ago with how you feel right now. Photo by the author Your Body and Mind Are Always Changing Yesterday’s thoughts aren’t today’s thoughts. What you loved one day, you might dislike the next—and the reverse just as easily. Your body at fifteen was nothing like your body now. Even your body is quietly changing from moment to moment. Your thoughts and feelings work the same way. Wishing they’d stop doesn’t stop them. Wanting to hold on doesn’t make them stay. Buddhism t...

Have you ever had this experience? A careless word slips out, and you spend the rest of the day wondering if you hurt someone.  Or maybe it's the opposite — something someone said to you keeps replaying in your head all day. Other times, the moment things stop going according to plan, anxiety creeps in. You run the future through your head again and again, trying to force the outcome you want. Photo by the author Why do we want  so badly to bend the world, and the people in it, to our will? Most of us assume this anxiety, this need for control, says something about our character.  We're not good enough. We did something wrong. We haven't grown up yet. We're just not enough. But the Buddha traced our suffering back to something else: attachment . Everything is constantly changing, nothing stays fixed — yet we keep mistaking it for something solid, something we can hold onto and control.  That's where the suffering begins. We want people, outcomes, the future — all o...

Not long ago, I was listening to a dharma talk by the Korean Buddhist monk  Ven. Beopsang when one line stopped me cold. "Why have I been trying so hard to hold on to things I can't change?" Something in my chest tightened.  And the more I sat with it, the more I realized — most of us are doing exactly this, every day. We try to change other people.  We try to change outcomes.  We try to undo what's already done.  But almost nothing actually shifts, and what we're left with is exhaustion. If something is weighing on you right now, try pausing and asking yourself: "Is this actually something I can change?" You might be surprised how much lighter things start to feel just from sitting with that question. Photo by the author We're Not Tired From Trying Too Hard — We're Fighting the Wrong Battle Most people assume burnout comes from working too much. But maybe what's really wearing us out is the relentless attempt to change what was never ours to...

"I want to know."  "I want to learn."  "I want to understand."  "I want to become even a little better." Before I truly studied the Four Iddhipada (the paths to spiritual success), I always thought chanda simply meant passion or raw enthusiasm.  I used to associate it with fierce determination and intense, consuming energy. However, while reflecting on vimamsa —the fourth factor of the Iddhipada—I discovered that chanda wasn't what I had imagined at all.  It is much closer to what we might call a wholesome desire, or a pure aspiration. Photo by the author Instead of an overwhelming, burning passion, chanda feels like a gentle, natural wish from the heart: The wish to know.  The wish to learn.  The wish to understand.  The wish to grow, even if just a little. This realization brought to mind a dharma talk by Venerable Wonbin , who once noted that desire and greed are fundamentally different . True desire means wanting something and willingly...

There are days when your body is here, but your mind is somewhere else.  While studying the Four Iddhipāda , I came across something that surprised me.  I had always assumed that the third factor, “mind,” referred to mindfulness itself. Photo by the author But looking into it more carefully, I realized the Buddha was pointing to citta — the mind actually settling where it is .  That made me wonder if what matters isn’t how long we spend doing something, but how much of ourselves is truly there while we’re doing it. So these days, I sometimes end the day with a simple question: “Was my mind really there today?” If you’d like to explore this further, you may enjoy my longer piece: [Working Hard but Nothing Changes? The Buddha’s Four Conditions for Success] In it, I explore the Four Iddhipāda in more detail and reflect on how chanda, viriya, citta, and vīmaṁsā work together as the foundations of meaningful change. You may also enjoy: [Why Doesn't Happiness Last? The...