Who Am I? Buddhist Insights on Ego, Identity, and Anxiety: Beyond Modern Psychology

 

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Beyond all the roles we play and the labels we carry, there is a quiet question that often whispers in the back of our minds: “Who am I, really?” 

When modern psychology feels like it’s reached its limit, we can find a deeper sense of relief in ancient wisdom that has comforted human hearts for thousands of years. 

Personally, I’ve found that true inner peace often begins not by building a stronger self, but by gently letting go of the heavy “one” we’ve been carrying—a journey guided by the timeless insights of the Buddha and the compassionate teachings of modern masters like Venerable Beopsang and Venerable Wonbin.

Here, I want to share a perspective that has helped me breathe again—one that gently loosens the grip of anxiety.

“Who am I? What is the world? And what is the relationship between the two?”

These three fundamental questions have long stood as the core pillars of human inquiry. For centuries, we have sought to define our existence and understand our place within the vastness of the universe.

In modern psychology, we are encouraged to build a healthy ego and develop a stable identity. We define ourselves through our careers, relationships, bodies, and social roles.

This confusion persists because while we often try to validate our self-identity through careers or achievements, an identity dependent on external conditions is inevitably fragile and easily shaken.

This is why many people quietly wonder: "Why do I feel anxious even when nothing is wrong?"

Even when life appears stable, there can be a persistent sense of emptiness, anxiety, or dissatisfaction. 

From a Buddhist perspective, this suffering arises because we mistake external roles and mental stories for our true self.

In Buddhism, the question “Who am I?” is not a philosophical curiosity—it is a direct inquiry into the nature of suffering and mental health.

Over 2,500 years ago, the Buddha addressed this very confusion in a profound teaching known as the Anuradha Sutta of the Samyutta Nikaya (SN 22:86), revealing a radically liberating understanding of ego, identity, and the true nature of the self.

Before we look for answers in our thoughts, roles, or achievements, the Buddha invites us to investigate something simpler: what we are actually experiencing right now.

What Buddhism Says About Ego and Anxiety: Lessons from the Anuradha Sutta (SN 22:86)

In Buddhism—and in what many call Buddhist psychology—much of our suffering begins when we cling to the idea of a fixed self.

More than 2,500 years ago, the Buddha addressed this very confusion in a dialogue known as the Anuradha Sutta. In this teaching, he reveals that we are not the fragile ‘self’ we think we are—but something far more vast and free.

By exploring the wisdom of Non-self (Anatta) presented in the Anuradha Sutta, we can find clues as to why we have clung so tightly to the ego and suffered as a result. 

In this teaching, the Buddha dismantles the idea of a fixed, permanent self. He asks a series of precise questions to show that the Tathāgata—the awakened reality—cannot be reduced to any single component of experience.

Anxiety often persists because we cling to a constructed “self.” The Buddha’s teaching on Anatta (Non-self) shows that what we call “me” is a changing process (the five aggregates). Relief begins when we stop identifying with thoughts and return to awareness—right now.

Not the Body or the Mind

You are not merely your physical body, nor are you identical to your feelings, perceptions, or thoughts. 

In the Anuradha Sutta, the Buddha uses a series of precise questions to dismantle our illusions:

“Anuradha, do you regard the Tathagata as form? As feeling? As perception? As mental formations? As consciousness?” “No, Lord.” “Then, do you regard the Tathagata as being within form… or as apart from form?” “No, Lord.”

Through this dialogue, we realize that we suffer because we mistake these five aggregates—body, feelings, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness—for a fixed “self.” 

However, these are merely phenomena that arise and vanish according to causes and conditions (Dependent Origination, or Idappaccaya).

They appear for a moment and then pass away; they have no permanent substance. When we cling to these impermanent things as “me” or “mine,” suffering inevitably begins.

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Not Inside or Outside

Your essence is not hidden somewhere inside the brain, nor does it exist independently outside your lived experience. Identity, as we usually understand it, is a mental construction rather than a solid entity.

Consider the shifting nature of existence: which version of a person is the “true” one? Is it the self from our teens, our twenties, or our thirties?

Even at a biological level, the physical form is never the same from one moment to the next. When thoughts, feelings, and consciousness are also in constant flux, what can be honestly grasped and called “me,” “mine,” or “myself”? Within this ever-changing flow, no fixed, permanent “I” can be found.

The Unfathomable Nature of Self

If no fixed ego or identity can be found while we are alive, then if there is no fixed self, who is suffering?

When the Buddha was asked, “What am I?”, he pointed out that most people mistakenly take the “five aggregates”—our body, feelings, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness—to be the self. 

However, he revealed that these five elements are fundamentally impermanent, subject to suffering, and devoid of a fixed self. Like a flowing river, they are constantly changing, and therefore, none of them can be claimed as “me” or “mine.”

In Buddhism, there is a profound saying: “There is no doer, only the doing; no sufferer, only the suffering.” 

Pain may exist as a physical sensation, but there is no permanent “I” who owns that pain. When we realize this, we see that while pain is present, the psychological “suffering” attached to it begins to dissolve.

This insight shifts our relationship to anxiety, fear, and even thoughts about death.

As Venerable Beopsang, a renowned Seon (Zen) master, teaches: 

“Anxiety, fear, and even the concept of death are ultimately just thoughts. And thoughts are the root of suffering. When you feel anxious or afraid, ask yourself: ‘What is it that is aware of this feeling?’ That quiet awareness is your true essence, not this physical body.”

Venerable Beopsang invites us to simply rest in that awareness. Instead of being swept away by the waves of thought, we are encouraged to come back to what is right before our eyes in this very moment. 

By just being still and observing, the anxiety and fear can begin to soften as we step out of the mental story and into the present.

For many people, this shift feels gentle and gradual—thoughts still arise, but they no longer hold the same power.

In that stillness, we realize they were nothing more than flickering thoughts, not the reality of who we are.

For this reason, the Buddha emphasized staying awake, being mindful, and establishing right awareness at all times. 

As the Diamond Sutra teaches: “All conditioned phenomena are like a dream, an illusion, a bubble, or a shadow.”

We live within the “dreams” created by our own mental discrimination and delusions—a truth echoed by Jan Kersschot in his book This Is It, where he refers to the separate self as a “ghost,” an insubstantial appearance that we mistakenly take to be real.

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Coming Back to “Right Now”: Buddhism, Mindfulness, and Mental Health

When we stop defining ourselves through past memories or future worries, attention naturally returns to the present moment. This is where Buddhism and modern psychology intersect, especially in mindfulness-based approaches to mental health.

In particular, mindfulness meditation transforms this philosophical understanding into a practical relief for anxiety. It is not about struggling to stop your thoughts, but rather practicing how to break free from the obsession with the “self” by simply observing thoughts objectively.

True freedom begins when we realize that the “self” we cling to is often just a complex narrative—a story our mind continuously writes and rewrites. By stepping back from this mental story and returning to the quiet awareness of the present, we find a peace that no thought can disturb.

Pause and breathe once, gently. Name it: “Anxiety is here.” Ask: “What is aware of this feeling?” Return to what’s in front of your eyes—sound, breath, body sensations. Let the thought-story soften without fighting it.

The Silent Observer

When we observe our thoughts—especially anxious or depressive ones—who is doing the observing?

If thoughts are just passing phenomena, then who is the “real me”? Our true essence is not the flickering “five aggregates” that arise and fall. 

Instead, it is the vast, space-like mind (the Dharmakaya of Emptiness) and the energy of pure awareness that observes and illuminates all those changes. 

This is what we call Nirvana, Buddha-nature, the True Self, or simply the Inner Light. Though the names differ, they all point to the one essence we must return to.

Different traditions use different words—awareness, Buddha-nature, true nature, or simply presence. What matters is not the label, but the direct experience of stepping out of the mental story and returning to what is aware, here and now.

This true “I” is never born and never dies; it remains untainted, even in the midst of the fiercest life storms. That quiet awareness behind thoughts is what Buddhism points to as the true self—the one that exists beyond ego, story, and identity.

In Buddhist language, this awareness is described as “unborn” and “undying”. It doesn't mean nothing happens—it just means something in you remains untouched.

The Stillness Within the Storm

Thoughts and emotions are like clouds: sometimes heavy, sometimes light. Anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem may arise, but they do not define who you are. Your true nature is like the sky—open, aware, and untouched.

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Nirvana in Everyday Life

Nirvana isn’t some distant heaven waiting at the end of life. It is found right here, in the very moment greed, hatred, and delusion are extinguished. 

When these three fires stop burning, what remains is Nirvana. When mindfulness is present, suffering loosens its grip—even in the midst of our ordinary, busy lives.

“I teach only suffering and the cessation of suffering.” — The Buddha

This simple yet profound statement reminds us that the path of the Buddha is not about building complex theories, but about finding immediate relief from the weight of the mind. 

By returning to the present moment, we step out of the story of “me” and into the vast peace that has been within us all along.

When the "I" Softens

True inner peace does not come from making the self stronger or more rigid; instead, it arrives when we begin the process of letting go of the heavy ego.

As Venerable Wonbin teaches, when we remove the subjects—the “I,” the “you,” and the “world”—we begin to live a life of true wisdom. 

In reality, there is no fixed “I” who is acting; there is only the “action” itself. When we stop clinging to the subject “I,” the psychological benefits follow naturally:

Resilience: When “I” am removed from the sentence “I failed,” only the “occurrence of a mistake” remains. Without a self to be wounded, failure no longer hurts our self-worth.

Emotional Balance: Instead of saying “I am depressed,” we see it as “sadness is arising.” By removing the “I,” we stop identifying with the emotion and let it pass like a cloud.

Compassion: When we take out the “I” and the “You,” there is no longer a separate person to judge. There is only the shared flow of life, and in that space, natural understanding and kindness arise.

Authenticity: Without a “me” to protect or an “ego” to polish, life is no longer a performance. When we stop acting for “others,” our actions become simple, honest, and free.

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

I once read the phrase “Don’t believe every thought you have” in a book by a Swedish monk. 

At first, it was baffling. I kept wondering, “Does this mean I shouldn’t trust my own values? What is this supposed to mean?” That question stayed with me for a while.

It was only months later, after listening to the teachings of Venerable Beopsang, that the realization finally hit me. 

It wasn’t about doubting my core values; it was an invitation not to be swept away by the 50,000-plus thoughts that rise and fall like waves every single day.

Most of these thoughts are just automatic mental “noise”—fleeting echoes of the past or shadows of future worries. 

When we stop believing every flickering thought as “truth,” we stop being their slave. We find the freedom to let the waves pass while we remain as the vast, unshakable ocean.

You Are Already Complete

The search for identity often assumes that something is missing. Buddhism gently points in the opposite direction: nothing needs to be added—only false labels released.

We do not become complete by adding something new. Rather, it is about waking up from the illusion that the “false self” (the five aggregates appearing through conditions) is real. 

It is simply a matter of recognizing the Buddha-nature—the inner light—that is already shining within us. 

When you trust this truth and rest in it, true liberation and freedom finally begin. In this very breath, beyond ego and identity, there is awareness. And that awareness doesn’t need fixing.

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Sources (If You'd Like to Go Deeper)

This was written with a heart full of gratitude, drawing from the Buddha’s ancient wisdom and the profound insights of modern masters like Venerable Beopsang and Venerable Wonbin, who have made these teachings accessible for us today.

Below are some precious resources I truly wish to share with you. I hope they bring you the same deep sense of relief and “Awakening”. Please take a moment to explore them—they are like a gentle hand reaching out to guide you home to your true self.

Wisdom in Motion (Videos)

Venerable Beopsang: He teaches us the power of not being swept away by our own thoughts. If you wish to find the “Silent Observer” within the storm of anxiety, this is for you. Watch [10:40 ~ 21:00] [55:20 ~ 59:47]

Venerable Wonbin: In this profound teaching based on the book ‘The Self Delusion’ by Gregory Berns, he deconstructs the “Five Aggregates” and the “Stories” we tell ourselves. 

You will learn that while there is no fixed subject (no “I”), there is a beautiful, natural flow of action. Watch [00:36 ~ 15:50] [24:09 ~ 34:22]

Reference Materials (Books & Sutras)

The Anuradha Sutta (Samyutta Nikaya 22:86): The foundational scripture for this writing. It records the Buddha’s profound dialogue with the monk Anuradha, providing the core spiritual framework for understanding the nature of the Tathagata beyond the five aggregates.

The Diamond Sutra: A key source for understanding the illusory nature of all conditioned phenomena. Its teachings on the “emptiness of self” served as a primary inspiration for the insights shared here.

The Self Delusion by Gregory Berns: This work provided the neuroscientific perspective on how the brain constructs a narrative self, which was beautifully synthesized with Buddhist thought in the teachings of Venerable Wonbin.

This Is It by Jan Kersschot: A modern reference for non-dual awareness. It offers the metaphor of the “ghost-like ego,” which helps bridge ancient wisdom with contemporary existential inquiry.

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