Thoughts Won't Stop? Here's What's Really Happening in Your Mind
You are lying on a sofa or bed, wanting your body to rest, but your thoughts won't stop. The more you try to control them, the more anxious you feel.
Even when staying still, thoughts follow one after another, and at the end of that chain, you unexpectedly face an uninvited guest: anxiety.
The key is not to stop your thoughts, but to stop identifying with them.
Yet we live as if the opposite were true.
“I am thinking.”
“This anxiety is mine.”
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| Photo by the author |
But is that really true? If anxiety, which I don't even want, visits me as it pleases, can I truly call that 'me'?
2,600 years ago, Shakyamuni Buddha provided a marvelous key to break this chain of suffering.
It is the truth of 'Anatta (Non-Self).'
The moment you let go of the attachment to the body and mind that you mistook for 'self,' true relief and peace begin.
How can we actually experience this 'Anatta' in our daily lives and calm our anxiety?
How to Stop Anxiety When Thoughts Won’t Stop
We usually feel, “I am thinking,” “I am anxious,” or “This emotion is mine.” However, this belief is what strengthens anxiety and keeps the mind stuck in constant thinking.
The moment we feel a thought is 'me,' we try to control it, struggle to eliminate it, and fall deeper into it. In that process, the anxiety grows larger and larger.
Psychologist William James used the expression 'It thinks' instead of 'I think' to focus on the flow of thought itself rather than the agency of the ego.
Just as we say "It rains" and cannot control that rain, it is an insight that thoughts are not something I create but are like a natural phenomenon that arises on its own.
How to Experience Non-Self in Daily Life: 'Just Noticing'
Non-Self is not a concept to simply understand; it becomes meaningful only when experienced directly.
The method is surprisingly simple.
It is mindfulness—simply noticing (awareness).
Stop for a moment right now and observe what is happening in your mind.
It is enough to simply notice: “Ah, a thought has arisen,” or “Ah, anxiety is being felt.”
The moment you see it this way, you are already standing one step away from the thoughts and emotions.
If you observe a little more closely, thoughts arise even if we don't want them to, and emotions change even if we don't control them.
If so, is this really 'me'?
My Experiment: 'Thought Counting' Starting with Prayer Beads
For the past few days, I have been 'counting thoughts' using prayer beads. I used to think I didn't have many thoughts, but after catching even the subtle ones, I realized I have far more thoughts than expected.
Especially while walking, if I see someone who looks like a friend, the friend comes to mind, and related matters follow one after another.
Then, when I notice this thought, the thought disappears.
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| Photo by the author |
At that moment, I move one prayer bead, return to the present moment before my eyes, and concentrate.
Even when listening to sounds or eating, thoughts pop up unexpectedly, but they disappear as soon as I notice them.
It is not 'I' who is thinking.
Through this, I came to realize the true nature of thoughts: the fact that as soon as we encounter a 'boundary' (sights, sounds, smells, tastes, or touch), perceptions, feelings, and psychological phenomena arise simultaneously.
Point of Awakening: The 'Thought Tank' and Automatic Response
Dr. Hyun-soo Jeon, a pioneer in Buddhist psychotherapy, explains that all experiences and consciousness unconditionally enter the 'Thought Tank.'
After counting thoughts myself, I found it truly amazing that thoughts simply arise automatically the moment we encounter a boundary.
We believe that 'I' create thoughts, but in reality, it is merely a 'response' that occurs automatically when external stimuli meet memories stored in the Thought Tank according to the law of cause and effect.
When conditions are met, thoughts simply arise from the Thought Tank where information from the Six Sense Bases (eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, mind) is stored, and they disappear simply by being observed!
After realizing this principle, I feel strongly that I should not watch, listen to, or read just anything.
I’ve realized that I cannot control the thoughts that arise—so, I should be careful about what I expose my mind to, in order to keep my Thought Tank and my heart at peace
[Tip] Realistic Alternatives for International Readers
If prayer beads are unfamiliar, you can sufficiently replace them with tools commonly used in daily life.
Tally Marks on Post-its: This is a common method in the West; try counting by drawing |||| marks on a Post-it note.
Fidget Rings or Bead Bracelets: A ring you can lightly spin with your finger is an excellent tool that provides immediate tactile feedback.
Tally Counter Apps: Smartphone apps are also available, but since the process of turning on the screen and finding the app might actually interfere with practice or feel tedious, the key is to choose the tool that is most immediate and comfortable for you.
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| Photo by the author |
The Buddha’s Teaching: What is Impermanent is Not 'Me'
In Buddhism, thoughts and emotions are said to be merely phenomena that arise and disappear according to conditions.
In other words, they are not created by 'me' but are a process appearing through the Law of Dependent Origination called cause and effect.
This is impermanent. Because it is not eternal, it is uncertain and unstable, and therefore it is suffering. That which is suffering is not me.
Thus, Shakyamuni Buddha said, "The material form, feeling, perception, intentions/actions, and consciousness are not yours. Let them go. Put them down (Bang-ha-chak)."
The following words from the Samyutta Nikaya serve as a confident basis for us to declare "This is not mine" when anxiety visits.
“Monks, what do you think? Is the sense of sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch, or the mind permanent or impermanent?”
“Impermanent, Blessed One.”
“Then is that which is impermanent suffering or happiness?”
“It is suffering, Blessed One.”
“Is it fit to regard what is impermanent, suffering, and subject to change as: ‘This is mine, this is I, this is my self’?”
“No, Blessed One.”
Anything that has arisen must surely perish.
The moment an anxious thought arises and you see it, saying, “Ah, such a thought is arising,” strangely, that thought begins to lose its power.
Just as a wave hits and disappears, simply watch as anxiety, worry, and fear arise.
If you watch, it disappears.
You just need to avoid being dragged away by it.
The Easiest Mindfulness: The Practice of 'Staying Awake'
However, to watch and notice, we must be awake.
This is not easy, but Monk Wonbin always tells us an easy way: Frequently ask, “Am I awake?”
In that very moment, Sati (Mindfulness) is established, and we return to the present. We turn our attention to the 'now.'
We notice the feeling of the breath entering and leaving, the sensation of the body touching the chair, or the movement of our feet as we walk.
By letting go of our thoughts, we can fully dwell in the present and see things exactly as they are. This is the core of mindfulness.
As it is said in the Samyutta Nikaya:
“When one sees things with established mindfulness (Sati)... suffering disappears and does not grow.”
Non-Self is the Path to Freedom
Various masters say the same thing consistently:
Dr. Hyun-soo Jeon: Let go of thoughts and return to the present before your eyes to concentrate.
Monk Beopsang: Stay in the 'here and now' by letting go of discriminatory delusions—that is Nirvana.
Monk Wonbin: Be awake and come to the forefront with Sati—that is peace of mind.
Thought is merely suffering.
Concentrate on the action you are doing right this moment.
When washing dishes, concentrate on the action of washing dishes. It is not the 'thought of washing dishes,' but simply doing it. When you walk, just walk.
Non-Self means there is nothing you can grasp and call 'me.'
It is Non-Self because you cannot control the body and mind that arise and disappear moment by moment, following the law of cause and effect.
Since they are not under our control, we are told to simply watch without interfering.
I cannot describe how relieved and free I felt when I first heard this truth.
Even now, whenever I hear these same words from different masters, that deep sense of peace and freedom returns to me once again.
The moment we stop grasping for ‘me,’ the mind becomes light.
We realize that anxiety has no substance, and it no longer dominates us.
The only time we can actually live is always this very moment.
Noticing that moment as it is, is the simplest yet deepest way to experience 'Non-Self.'
It is about letting go of thoughts, returning to the present through mindfulness, and no longer identifying with those thoughts as “me.”
We don’t need to force anything.
Tonight, before you sleep, try this for just five minutes.
Simply notice each thought as it arises—and see what happens. I pray with joined hands that your heart will become much lighter.
Deepen Your Understanding of 'Non-Self' (Anatta)
To help you fully grasp the profound truth of 'Non-Self,' I highly recommend watching these insights from two respected masters.
They offer both the scriptural foundations and the practical wisdom to help you find true peace.
1. Dr. Hyun-soo Jeon: The Buddha’s Words on 'Non-Self'
Recommended Segment: [17:30 – 27:30]
Dr. Jeon explains 'Non-Self' based directly on the Nikaya (the early Buddhist scriptures).
He provides a clear, logical foundation for why the body and mind are not 'ours,' helping you release the burden of anxiety through the Buddha’s original teachings.
"The Buddha said, 'What is impermanent is suffering; what is suffering is Non-Self.'"
2. Monk Beopsang: The Living Wisdom of 'Non-Self'
Recommended Segment: [1:03:00 – End]
Monk Beopsang translates these profound truths into a language of the heart.
He guides you to stay in the 'here and now' by letting go of the 'I,' leading you toward the actual experience of Nirvana in daily life.
If you'd like to stay in this peace a little longer, these previous stories might also be helpful.
I hope they bring a deeper sense of comfort and freedom to your heart as you read them.
[What Is Non-Self (Anatta)? How the Buddha's Teaching Can Free You from Anxiety]
[The Hidden Root of Anxiety: Why the Thought "I Exist" Is Exhausting Us (A Buddhist Perspective)]
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