What's Actually Running Your Life?
Do you believe your success, your happiness, and even the thoughts appearing in your mind right now are all created by you?
Most of us live that way. When things go well, we credit ourselves. When they don't, we blame ourselves entirely.
But listen to the teachings of Ven. Beopsang, and that belief starts to wobble.
Everything that happens in our lives isn't something we create alone. It arises out of countless conditions and connections coming together.
And if you were never fully in control to begin with — that might actually be a relief to hear.
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| Photo by the author |
The Second Arrow Hurts More Than the First
When pain shows up in the body, we rarely experience just the pain.
What if this turns into something serious? What if it gets worse from here?
The worry spirals, and the suffering grows with it.
But pain and suffering aren't the same thing.
Pain is simply what's happening. It's the fear and the story we wrap around it that turn into suffering.
The Buddha called this the parable of the two arrows. Physical pain is the first arrow. The grief and fear we build on top of it is the second.
A well-trained person, he taught, can feel physical pain without being swept into sorrow — struck by the first arrow, but not the second.
Look closely, and you'll notice something happening at the same time as the pain: you know your body hurts, and you know that a worried mind has just appeared.
This is exactly where Ven. Beopsang points.
The awareness that knows the body is in pain is not the same as the pain itself.
The body and the thoughts can be in turmoil, yet the awareness that knows about that turmoil can be experienced as a still presence that is not caught up in that turmoil.
What I Learned From Counting My Own Thoughts
Our thoughts and emotions shift constantly, and fast, depending on conditions. A good mood can turn sour the moment someone says the wrong thing.
A few months ago, I actually counted how many thoughts I had in a single day, using a string of prayer beads. What I discovered surprised me.
Thoughts are not something I consciously create or fully control.
Walking down the street, the moment I noticed something, a thought would fire off — and then another, and another, chained together almost instantly.
In the span of a few seconds, dozens of thoughts had already passed through.
And yet we take these thoughts and emotions, arising completely outside our control, and mistake them for "me."
What Ven. Beopsang calls the "knowing mind" is something everyone already has — the capacity to notice a thought or emotion arising before getting swept away by it.
When a thought comes up, instead of getting pulled along by it, you simply notice: there's a thought arising right now.
Life Moves Whether or Not You're Steering It
Our life isn't something we build through calculation.
Hunger arrives on its own. Digestion happens on its own. In a moment of danger, the body moves out of the way before you've had time to think.
Ven. Beopsang, drawing on Jan Kersschot’s book "This Is It", points to “It” — the driving force of existence already at work behind everything we do.
We like to think of ourselves as the one steering the ship, but the body and mind were never fully under our control to begin with.
There's already a force at work, and Ven. Beopsang describes it as the "knowing mind" — what he describes as our Buddha-nature.
We usually assume peace of mind depends on the outside world changing first.
But the teaching points us in the opposite direction: turn inward, and look at that mind itself.
You can't see it or touch it, but it's already there. The invitation is simply to trust it.
When Something Grates on You: "It's Just Sound"
The same thing happens with sound. The instant we hear something, we attach meaning to it — that person is criticizing me.
But before the mind adds its own meaning, there is simply the sound itself.
Ven. Beopsang points us to look at hearing itself, before the story begins.
This teaching has made a real difference for me. When I hear something irritating, I notice the flicker of aversion — and then remind myself: it's just a sound.
I still get pulled into the story sometimes, reading meaning into it, taking it personally. But each time, I come back to the same phrase: it's just a sound.
The more I practice this, the less often I get swept away.
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| Photo by the author |
Setting Down the Weight of Having to Do It All
For a long time, we've believed that everything rests on us — that we have to make it all happen.
But thoughts, emotions, hunger, the body's responses — none of it is something we're actually generating.
Thoughts and feelings keep rising and passing away. Once you realize there is an awareness simply observing it all, you no longer have to be dragged along by every thought.
Try setting down, even for a moment, the heavy belief that you have to control everything. This isn't a call to be passive.
It's a gentle step back from the illusion that you alone have to manage and carry it all.
The next time an uncomfortable thought or an annoying voice arises, try repeating quietly to yourself:
"It's just a sound." (or "It's just a thought.")
It might not shift everything right away. But as this awareness becomes familiar, you'll find yourself far less easily swept into the story, effortlessly stepping into peace.
Deepen Your Awareness
If these reflections provided a moment of clarity, feel free to explore the related readings below.
They offer further gentle guidance on unraveling mental noise, helping you cultivate an enduring sense of calm and well-being as you go about your day.
[Where Is Your Mind Right Now? A 2,600-Year-Old Question That Still Has No Easy Answer]
[Are You Awake Now? The Easiest Way to Escape Overwhelming Thoughts (Dhammapada 348)]
[What Is Non-Self (Anatta)? How the Buddha's Teaching Can Free You from Anxiety]
A Quiet Space for Your Mind
Today’s insights draw from the wise teachings of Ven. Beopsang. While reading offers a meaningful start, hearing these principles voiced live opens up an entirely different level of resonance.
To help you integrate this wisdom more fully, taking time to view the featured video—specifically from 49:07 to 1:07:50—will offer a much clearer path toward genuine peace.
"May all living beings be healthy, happy, and prosperous. May they be safe, secure, and free from all dangers and enemies."
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